Sunday, October 31, 2004

Halloween by the Numbers...

9-Bags of candy for trick or treat.

30-Approximate number of kids who showed up.

4-Dressed as Spider-Man.

5-Disney Princesses.

2-Batman and Frankenstein

1 -Hippy Chick.Groovy.

2-Ninja type guys

1-Football player with blue clown wig

6 -Hockey Mask wearing or Ghostface kids

2-Devil Girls

3 kids in pajamas and robes

2- had some smeared green face paint but said they sweated it off and they didn't want to wear a costume.Whatever.Don't need the life story.Take a Kit Kat.

2-Parents who asked why I wasn't wearing my Superman outfit this year.Great Scott! My secret identity has been compromised!

1-Number of little kids who when I held out the candy dish shouted "HOLY CRAP! CANDY!" Parents look mortified.

7-Parents who made sure their child didn't take too much candy but then yoinked a few for their own pockets.One Mom said "I crave Chocolate." zoinks.

1-Costume was flashy and sparkly- Mrs. Pratt asked the 7 year old. "Are you a Vegas Showgirl?" She was a Bratz. Afterwards, I'm like Oliver Hardy "Are you a vegas showgirl.harrumph."

17-Times Twizzle ran around the room when the doorbell rang.

Zero-Times Greyton budged at the sound of the doorbell.Big loaf.

2-Enjoyable hours watching favorite tv shows-Dead Like Me and Desperate Housewives. Eva Longoria es muy caliente.

Zero-Number of Desperate Housewives showing up at my door.

15Pieces of candy I devoured all night.

30-Pounds of leftover candy I'm bringing to work tomorrow.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Pratt the Ripper...

Pumpkin Carving Time!

Hmmm..maybe I can hide some extra Halloween candy in here...

Mrs.Pratt impersonates Martha Stewart using her prison shiv...


Pumpkin of Pratt 2004.

Happy Halloween!!!

Friday, October 29, 2004

Candy Man...

"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker"- Ogden Nash

I did some grocery shopping after work today. Halloween is two days away and I needed to buy candy.

"But Pratt.." you're thinking to yourself, "Didn't you buy several bags of candy allegedly for Halloween already?"

Huh? What? Me? Yeah ...I'll cop to it. I bought a bag of Snickers , Milky Way and 3 Musketeers. Bags were then open- several bars were eaten over the course of a few days with Mrs. Pratt giving me the stinkeye over each bite size bite. That's when I say, I'll bring it into work for the students.

I have 10 undergrads who work for me in the library. The work they do isn't exactly exciting thrill-a-minute duties. It's downright dull. So I always have a supply of candy in the office to keep them sugared up. It works.

But back to my consumer tale. I loaded up on bags of candy for the oncoming onslaught of Trick or Treaters.

Unpacking the groceries in the kitchen of Stately Pratt Manor...

Mrs.Pratt: "Did you buy Halloween candy?"

Me: "Yes. I bought Snickers and 3 Musketeers..."

Mrs.Pratt: "Good." She starts to walk into the living room.

Me: "And Milky Way and Kit-Kats..."

She pivots. Her foot starts tapping. I'm starting to pile the bags on the table.

Me:"And Reeses's Peanut Butter Cups and Twix Bars..."

More foot tapping and that growling noise of disgust Marge Simpson makes.

Me:" And 100 Grand Bars...and Dots..."

LOUD foot tapping..Now I know what freaked Poe out with "The Raven".

Me: "...And a big bag of Twizzlers."

I was then scolded with Angry Wife lecture #452.Please turn to your Angry Wife hynmnals to the "Why Did You Buy So Much Candy? You Do This Every Year." on page 169...amen.

Mrs.Pratt:"We only got twenty kids at our door last year!You are crazy for buying all this candy! I guess the kids will get 5 or 6 apiece.You better not be eating this before Sunday or it's an hour on the treadmill for you!"

Of course I'm standing there among the candy swag I've proudly accumulated. Immune to her dismay in glorious Glare-O-Rama.

So to whomever shows up to say Trick or Treat Sunday Night at my door, a candy feast awaits them.

The rest I guess I'll bring into work.

Keeps on Ticking...

I had my 6 month check-up with the cardiologist this morning. For any new readers long story short-4 years ago it was discovered I had aortic regurgitation(sounds like a cafeteria special)had heart surgery to fix my leaky valve and now I'm as right as rain. or whatever that hackneyed cliche means. I feel fine.

Twice a year I go to the heart doctor to make sure everything is running smoothly and I don't come down with a slight case of death.

At the doctor's office this time , I'm signing in and the receptionist hands me a letter. My doctor is moving away as of the end of the year.

The appointment goes well and he suggests who should take over in seeing me and my leaky heart. Then he mentioned what I dreaded...

"I saw you at Applebee's a few weeks back."

ZOINKS. Yes he did. Recounted in this episode of Blog of Pratt. There I was ready to enjoy a big sandwich of cheese,bacon, and enough cholesterol blocking materials that would make John Goodman gleeful when I looked up and saw him staring at me.

Fearful now of the dr.'s wrath I'm suddenly a ball of Don Knotts nervousness.

"Heh heh..well uh..I should have been eating just a salad.."

He suddnly smiled."That's ok..I'm sure I was eating a cheeseburger that day too."

With that taken care of until May, I stop at the Double D and have a celebratory coffee and donut. All good things in moderation...well some things.

More Election toons....

Check out these Election toons.

Political Rhapsody by

Electronic voting Machines in Florida from Boom Chicago Amsterdam.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Car for Kerry...

The Kerry campaign has been calling us almost every day this week. Mrs. Pratt is volunteeering for them this weekend. They've been calling nightly to confirm being at the local HQ on Saturday.

Last night they also asked if she could help out on Election day. First they asked if she could canvass neighborhoods asking people why they hadn't voted yet. Now my friend Mary Ann would be all gung-ho for that job. Too bad she doesn't live local. The woman has no fear.

They asked if we could drive people to and from polling places. Mrs. Pratt said yes.

"I'll be taking your car." she told me.

Me: "What's wrong with your car?"

Mrs. P.: "I can't stuff many elderly people in a Camaro."

Me: (Trying to think up lame excuses-becuase frankly i was being selfish about my car.)"Um..My car is a Republican."

Mrs. P.: "No way. Your car is from Detroit."

Me:"Ok win.Can you pass out a Blog of Pratt bumpersticker with every voter you pick up?"

*Look of Death*

The Visitor...

This praying mantis was attached to my front door this morning. Ok who put the gypsy curse on me? I'm not going to touch him but he seems like he doesn't want to leave.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Thinking Caps On...

Wake the the neighbors..get out your #2 pencils ..Time to take a little quiz from Professor Pratt on current pop culture events.

1. Fidel Castro has been in the news this week for ___

A. Announcing political reforms in Cuba.
B. Making more sense talking baseball than Tim McCarver.
C. Tripping and falling from a stage.
D. Doing his impression of the opening of the Dick Van Dyke Show.

2. Ashlee Simpson performance on Saturday Night Live___

A. Was an indictment of the sad state of popular music.
B. Will be excused by her people as "a sore throat".
C. Proof that Jessica should not "help" in the control room.
D. Funnier than Chris Kattan ever was when he was on the show.

3. Russian figure skater Tatiana Totmianina fell on her head because ___

A. The Cold War ended and the ice melted! Duh!
B. Prize money from winning America's Funniest Videos would buy a lot of sequins.
C. Stoli and Gatorade - bad training idea.
D. Tonya Harding. Slingshot. You do the math.

4. Paris Hilton announced she is opening a club in Vegas. It will be called___

A. Skankateria.
B. Club Clymidia.
C. Nicole Richie's second home.
D. Sluttlebee's.

5. Desperate Housewives is the #1 tv show because people enjoy___

A. Seeing the different challenges confronting women in contemporary society.
B. Teri Hatcher in a towel.Nicolette Sheridan washing her car. Eva just doing anything!!
C. Waiting to see how long before Melrose Place woman goes nutso on tv again.
D. CSI:NeverLand - bad idea for a tv show.

Monday Bunday...

Greyton says Good Morning...

A bowl of pellets a comfy spot and thee...

Baxter says,"Hay Hay Hay!"

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Mouse trap...

I had to buy a new mouse for my computer today. Now how do you suppose that happened???

I have no idea! burp.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Bewitched by Baxter...

I put a spell on cuteness is irresistible.

Curse this silly hat!

A witch with a twitch!

Friday, October 22, 2004

Novel Approach...

I've decided to eneter this year's NaNoWriMo competition. The goal is to write a 175 page novel from November 1st-November 30th. I have no clue yet of what the novel will be about.I have a week to come up with an idea.

I shall have a link to the blog site where I'll be posting the chapters for anyone interested in reading it.

Leaps and Bounds...

Every morning the first thing I do besides get Mrs. Pratt her coffee is pass out breakfast to the bunnies.One baby carrot, 3 Cheerios. Baxter is too young for that though so until she's 6 months old her diet is just pellets and timothey and alfalfa hay.

Baxter was hopping about her room and was very active- she kept standing on her hind legs looking at the baby gate that seperates her door and the hallway.

After dishing out the goods to Greyton and Twizzle I'm headed upstairs to give Princess her carrot and Mrs. P. her coffee.

I was met at the top of the stairs by Baxter! She looked up at me with a "Look what I did!" twitch.

The little stinker has figured out how to leap over the baby gate.Zoinks.

This could be a problem becuase if Twizzle or Princess were out up there they would probably fight her for territory. We have a taller gate to prevent Escape from Alcatraz again. Maybe I should change her name to Houdini.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Election Daze...

The days are winding down to Election Day.You really can tell we are in the final weeks of campaigns because of the flurry of television commercials promoting one candidate or another.

Usually during the news I have to weather the latest ad on wonder drug of the week -"Try Fooforall!!! It will make your life spicier than a day-old fajita." This is followed by scenes of smirking husbands and wives and a voiceover stating that if swelling of the medulla oblongota, hacking cough, nervous tics, rashes, 6 hour erection and shingles occur maybe this drug isn't for you. Whatever.

During election season, it's not the national presidential ads that bother me. You expect them to be over the top at this stage. It's the commercials for local politicians like State Senators, Members of Congress, or Mayors that entertain me the most.

Usually there is creepy ominous music playing and then a "Scare the Beejeezus out of you" narrator will say,

"John Smith wants to be your state representative. He is Evil. Evil.
EVIL!!! If he was elected he would pour toxic waste in the river. Grease the steps of the old folks home and yell,"Fire!",make small children cry by shredding a kitchen sponge in front of them and saying SpongeBob is dead. He would put Nair in your Shampoo. A plague of frogs would descend on your street. Vote Jones in November."

Honestly, if I believed all these commercials you would have thought that Hannibal Lecter had a whole passel of relatives running for office.

(More creepy organ music....)
"Jane Doe lied about taxes. She then lied about lying. After that she lied about lying about lying. Liar Liar pants on fire.Booga booga booga. Vote Jones in November."

These pitches just can't be taken seriously. They are the Munsters were or the Addams Family or Joan Rivers and a mirror.

So despite the fact that the creators of those ads think that their outrageous suggestion will sway us in our decision....

"John Smith hoards Baby formula and drinks it with scotch!And he likes it! Jane Doe doesn't know the words to "God Bless America" but sings Marilyn Manson in her car!"

I'll just go to the voting booth and make my choices. I'll keep an eye out for frogs.

See how catty I am before my morning coffee?

Paris Hilton gets her star on the Walk of Fame...

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Tinker to Evers to Darwin...

I've been enjoying seeing the Boston Red Sox in the postseason. I think my favorite player is Johnny Damon. When I first saw him he reminded me of someone...

Captain Caveman? Well sometimes when he swings his club..I mean bat...who else though...

He could be the heir to the shaggy throne of my all time favorite baseball player, John Kruk of the Philadelphia Phillies....or perhaps...

This could be his sports agent...unfrozen caveman lawyer?

Royal Birthday

Today is Her Royal Majesty's Princess Jewel's 7th birthday with us. Pay homage to her!!!

Monday, October 18, 2004

Red Light Green Light...

My students who help me around my office had the last week off for their Fall Break. They all returned today. I was very happy to see them. One of the guys went to see a friend in Amsterdam for a week.

Pratt: "How was your trip?"

Student: "Oh was wild. We almost got mugged in an alley."

Pratt: "How did that happen?"

Student: "Well it was 4AM in the Red Light district and..."

Pratt: "Whoa..hold on..any story that begins 'It was 4am in the red light district'...that's just asking for trouble."

Monday Bunday...

Who's coming to visit me today?

Baxter makes a friend.

Thinking wascally thoughts...

Have a good Monday Bunday from Baxter.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Adieu, Pierre...

Pierre Salinger died yesterday. He was a noted journalist for ABC News but also was Press Secretary during the Kennedy administration.

In 1985, I met Salinger at a luncheon during a scholarly Presidential conference on JFK at Hofstra University. I was interviewing people for the school newspaper and a friend in the PR department got me at the same table as Salinger.

What a golden opportunity for a budding young journalist. Not many people were bothering him so I was able to talk to him practically uninterrupted. Who knows what untold anecdote about the Kennedy years he could have mentioned. What priceless story could I get him to tell me. Perhaps a facet of JFK's character or insight into RFK,Mrs. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson. What was it REALLY like in "Camelot"?

But alas, you know the jackassery gene pops up in me. I had remembered something about Salinger that the pop culture sponge of my brain took over from the somber historical here I am

Pratt:"Mr. Salinger..Isn't it true you once were a guest-star on the Batman TV Show?"

Looking back on it now I can honestly say Ich Bin Ein Nincompoop. But surprisingly it brought a smile to Mr. Salinger's face. I think he was a little relieved that not everybody was asking the same old Kennedy questions of him that they had been asking since 1963.

He told me that he had been at a cocktail party in Los Angeles and met William Dozier who produced the Batman series. Batman was a hot tv show to be on. Everybody wanted to be on it.

They kidded about a guest-star role and it came to be. He was "Lucky Pierre" the Joker's lawyer. There had also been hopes that Robert Kennedy would appear on the show as well but he was beginning his tragic quest for the 1968 presidency.

For years afterward whenever I would see Mr. Salinger on ABC as their chief foreign correspondent I recalled our lunch.

Lucky indeed.


"Is this the party to whom I am speaking?"-Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the operator

For the last week, whenever I would try to log onto my home computer it was an exercise in keeping my patience and throwing the machine out the window. I use dial-up. Ok all you more tech-savvy people out there... stop laughing at me..stop it!You...I see you smirking!

My home computer was running only slightly faster than if the squirrel hadn't fell off the treadmill powering it.It soon became impossible to maintain an online connection. The phone had decided not to work.

It really got bad by Friday and any phone calls made would be accompanied by a low buzzing noise accompanied by static. If I were talking to someone I'd sound like one of those airline pilots who always mutter about what's out to the right side of the plane but its garbled and it sounds like, "Hargggjiebargggjie fragggjie..Grand Canyon.."

I call the phone company's repair line yesterday and shockingly its completely automated. It was if I was talking to Majel Barrett,the voice of the computer on Star Trek. I was tempted to ask "Please locate Commander La Forge." in my best Patrick Stewart voice.

I answer all the information robo-voice asked and was told a repair technician would appear on Sunday. SUNDAY! I'm skeptical but agree.

Sunday morning-phone rings again- the phone company wanted to know if we still needed a repair person. There is a test I could do with the wires on the outside phone box they said. Fortunately after years of reading Goofus and Gallant I knew better than to even attempt that. "Goofus gets 5,000 volts in his spinal column."

As I'm shouting over the line I could barely hear them due to the static, I said I need the repair technician. I hadn't blogged in a day and a half and I was feeling as jumpy as Steve Buscemi in well..about every movie he's been in. The customer service rep said she couldn't hear any of the static on her end of the phone.

I was tempted to say "Oh you've ruined my master plan to incur major repair costs on my phone bill because I enjoy that so very much." But I insisted that yes indeedy two tin cans and a string would be better right now.

And so this afternoon- Repair Guy shows up . He does some rewiring and solves the problem the old line 's wires had some water damage from when we had Floodapalooza a few weeks ago.

I'm back online and posting. I'm one happy Pratt.

Friday, October 15, 2004


Philadelphia has quite a collection of quirky sights to see. Yesterday , a friend of mine got a tour of the Rare Book Collection of the Free Library of Philadelphia. One of the more unique items is Grip the Raven. This stuffed bird was originally owned by Charles Dickens. This odd pet inspired a raven character in one of his minor works "Barnaby Rudge" in 1841.

Edgar Allen Poe reviewed books for a Philadelphia newspaper then and was quite taken by the character of Grip. In 1845 his poem "The Raven" appeared.An obvious influence.

So the real Grip resides in the rare book department. They also have the only known copy of "The Raven" written in Poe's hand, and manuscripts for "Annabel Lee" and "The Murders in the Rue Morgue".

A home Poe lived in during his time here in Philadelphia is also a wonderful place to tour this time of year.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Beat the Meatles...

I saw that Capitol Records is releasing a box set of the first four U.S. albums by the Beatles.Also The Beatles music will be used in partnership with Cirque de Soliel This reminded me of a conversation I had with a former co-worker after George Harrison died.

When George died, I put a photo of him up as the background on my computer screen. It was a 1964 "A Hard's Day Night" George pic.

Co-worker:"Who is that on your screen?"

Me: "George Harrison. He died yesterday."

*Blank stare*

Me:"You know ...he was with the Beatles."

Co-worker: "Oh that's where I know him from....." (editorial note- she is about 50 years old and was a teenager in the 1960's)


Co-worker:"Now who was the other one who died?"

Me:(vein appearing in my head):JOHN LENNON!!!!

Co-worker:"yes..yes.. and he was shot? Ok..."

Pause*pause*pause I knew what was coming next...

Co-worker:"And the two still alive?"

Me:( on the verge of a cerebral hemmorage aghast of the lack of basic pop culture knowledge) PAUL AND RINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Co-worker:"There were just four?"

Me:(verge of jumping out window) ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!

Tag Board Trouble...

I put a Tag Board on my page a day or two ago. Then I heard from people visiting my site that everytime they would get my page up a pop-up ad would appear. I don't know anybody who enjoys pop-up for now the tag board is gone :( I like to keep visits to my blog for you as enjoyable as I can. You can always leave me comments.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Debate and Twitch...

Greyton and Twizzle enjoy the debate.

Which way to the litter box..I mean ballot box!

Baxter is too young to vote. She ponders carrot futures.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

All I Got Was a Rock...

Halloween will be upon us in two and half weeks. I did start preparing by buying a few bags of candy. Mrs. Pratt saw through my brilliant scheme.

Mrs.P:"Are you trying to tell me that these bags of KitKats and Milky Ways will remain unopened until Halloween?"

Me:(Wiping the chocolate from the edge of my mouth)"Mmmmfgllmf."

Yes this is the yearly Pre-Halloween candy where I SWEAR I won't sample it but always do.I'm quite the Hedonist.Then we get serious and buy the REAL candy we plan on giving out on the 31st.

I have no decorations on the house yet..not even a pumpkin . It's a little hard being at the end of the cul-de-sac.

"Not worth the effort.Nobody sees it.", Mrs. P. harrumphs.

I told her the Grinch isn't supposed to come out until Christmas. I get the Look of Death. Perfect for Halloween.I plan on finding something scary for the front door. Maybe that photo of me in a bathing suit. EEEEK!

Growing up in Buffalo NY, Trick or Treating wasn't an easy job. Sometimes the first snow of the year would happen in late October. This meant that no matter how cool your costume was you usually had a big winter coat, hat, mittens and boots on ruining all the effort you put into making the costume.

Sometimes you just gave up and when asked, "And what are you supposed to be?"

Me: *heavy sigh * "Scott of the Antarctic. May have some Twizzlers or a hot toddy?"

Tromping around in snowdrifts is no way to go trick or treating. You can drag your candy around on a sled though.

We also used to have to tote the orange Unicef boxes and collect change to help people in the Third World. I always marvelled at how the meager 42 cents I gathered helped feed Mubutu and his family of 17 for a week.

The suburban neighborhood I lived in as a child was a jackpot for Halloween candy. I would plot my Halloween excursion with the care and precision of the Normandy Invasion. Dinner was always gulped down in anticipation of hitting the streets.The plan was always:
Up through Boxwood over to Brookwood down Blake over to Brenton cut over to Byrd Back over to Boxwood. The housing developer loved the letter B.
The kids of the neighborhood knew which houses to avoid.

"They give out combs."
"They give out apples."
"All I got was a rock."

I did get a rock in the head once. We had a window box and bench in front of our house. So one year when I was too old for trick or treating I dressed in old clothes and wore a scary mask- but had newspaper sticking out so it looked like I was a dummy or scarecrow.

Kids would come to the house- ring the bell. Dad would hand out candy-give the signal by turning the porch light on and off quick-The kids then turn around and I jump up and scare the beejezus out of them. Bwahahaha.

It was funny until one boy picked up a rock from the garden and conked me in the head with it. hahahahaha. *THUD*

I must have had a mild concussion from the incident. For the next week I was eating my Orange Unicef Box and trying to ship Mubutu 50 pounds of Jujyfruits, Sugar Daddy's and Charleston Chews.


A friend and fellow sleuth thinks that these folks may have had a hand in the Gnome Incident.

Monday, October 11, 2004

If I could talk to the Animals...

First the good news. Baxter didn't need to have her little foot surgery this morning. She has been on a medicine to help her coccidia infection(young bunnies get that sometime). After a week on the meds, it helped heal her foot up, and the vet said she is doing so well the surgery now is unecessary. Hooray!

I got the call to pick her up. Arriving at the vet's waiting room it was as crowded as the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers' "A Night at the Opera".

I forgot it was Columbus Day and many people had the day off. It was chaos in the vet office.
There were 5 dogs. 3 cats. A woman brought in a screech owl from the wildlife rehab center.
One person was occupying the reception desk. The phone was ringing constantly. The people with dogs had kids.A dog would be brought out from the back. Kids would scream with delight at seeing the family pet. Dog would bark .This sets off the other dogs. Cats then meow. Owl screech. Hulk Smash. It was my very own SEE and SAY (The cow goes...).

I finally got little Baxter girl. She was afraid of all the noise around her. Especially the screech owl. I got her home safely and she promptly ate some pellets and flopped out for a nap after a hectic morning.

All creatures great and small indeed!

Monday Bunday...

Greyton looks remarkably like Ludwig von Beethoven here..da da da DA!

Mr. Twizzle ready for his close-up.

Steppin' out with Baby Baxter...

Where's the toy surprise???

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Brandywine Bound...

Every October, I always get in the mood to visit one of my favorite places in Pennsylvania The Brandywine River Museum.

It's a 3 story building on the banks of the Brandywine Creek and mainly showcases the work of the Wyeth family (N.C., Andrew, and Jamie).

The location is so scenic and with the fall colors its always a happy journey there.

Their latest feature exhibit looks at the historical legend surrounding the ride of Paul Revere;specifically the one that emerged due to the famous poem by Longfellow. Using paintings,drawings, and other media it presents how this American myth has endured in popularity.

After the museum the thing to do on a sunny Sunday afternoon is visit a few wineries. The Chaddsford Winery offers a Spiced Apple wine that we get every year around this time. On cold nights, we warm some up and serve it with a cinammon stick. I recommend that!

Our last stop was a smaller vineyard called Smithbridge Cellars Winery. We did a tasting and picked up a few more bottles.

The rabbits looked disappointed when we got home not carrying any fresh produce. Tomorrow is Baxter's foot surgery. I hope it goes well.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Royal Rabbit...

By request...More Princess Jewel. I got some good pics of her with her blue eyes.

A few words about Her Majesty Princess Jewel. Oct. 19th will be 7 years since we adopted her. That makes her between 9-10 years old which is almost a full life span of a domestic rabbit.

She is the grande dame of the bunnies.Her blue eyes really stand out.Princess resides mainly in our bedroom. We like to read in bed before we go to sleep and she loves to hop up there and flop out with us.

She knows she is the Queen of the household and treats the other rabbits as if they were mere peasants.She has this imperious air about her at times.A "We are not amused" demeanor..but when it comes to me she drops the act...Probably becuase I give her the daily salad.

Her favorite treat is green carrot tops. We have even resorted to asking supermarket produce people to give us extra tops for her - we always obey her bidding. All Hail Princess Jewel.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Holy Roller...

This car is in our parking lot everyday. Every time I see it I hear an announcer's voice in my head.."Tune in Next week for another action-packed episode of JESUS P.I.!" Then Tom Selleck's Magnum theme starts up...Yes, I'm going to Hell.

Soapbox Derby...

One of my co-workers loves to wander about from office to office giving his political rants. After working with him for almost 8 years I know better than to bring up the subject. I really don't discuss politics with my co-workers. It always leads to arguments which leads to bad workplace feelings and then before you know it your desk is set on fire or something.

My co-worker has the exact temperment of Eric Cartman from South Park. I think Cartman curses less. After hearing the rant of the day from this guy I usually want to put his head in a vise- That's what I would call a real "Meet the Press".

I've told him over and over again I'm voting for Kerry. He is too. He just can't resist reaching a mouth frothing frenzy about how the current administration is evil.Yadda yadda yadda. Preaching to the choir. I hear the same arguments all over the media. It's like having my own personal Michael Moore.

My headphones now seem to jump on my head when he starts walking in- asking if we watched a debate or did you hear about what Bush did..blah blah blah.

I think what gets me the most is his asinine statistics on some subject - I have no idea where he gets his info from. But usually in one of his bleats he'll say something like this

Cartman:" And did you know that if Bush is re-elected he wants to draft 90% of us in the army."

Me: "Yeah..well I'm not voting for Bush. I'm voting for Kerry . .and I don't think they are bringing the draft back."

Cartman: "No, really it's true.Aren't you scared? Aren't you worried? Don't you care?"

Me: " Yeah.Right. Listen close now..VOTING FOR KERRY.Plus I'm heart attack boy and I'm too old. " (I'm now lunging for my headphones to drone George Snuffleupagus out.)

He'll usually walk off in a huff. Bu then the next day he tries again to bring up the topics again. P. Diddy may have those "Vote or Die" shirts but I wish I had one for my co-worker called "Vote and Shut Your Pie-Hole."

I vote. I read 3-4 newspapers a day. I check out the news websites. In 4 weeks I'll join the public and do my civic duty. I hope Kerry wins. If not my work days will be filled with the biggest pain in the ass monday morning quarterback.

I think I need some bigger headphones.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Respect At Last...

R.I.P. Rodney Dangerfield. Thanks for Caddyshack and Back to School and many many laughs.

Visit to the Vet...


Baxter was pretty brave for her first vet visit. That of course was the biggest surprise. That “he” was a she. It’s a little difficult to guess the sex of a very young rabbit.

Male rabbits, I’m told, tend to pull their testicles up inside themselves for a long time.The same kind of phenomenon occurs in human males when we watch that episode of “The Surreal Life” when Brigitte Nielsen hooks up with Flavor Flav.

The vet office is very nice. Fortunately, It wasn’t Big Dog Day. There was a woman with a young child and a cat in a box carrier. While the Mom was getting directions on how to give the cat meds for his condition, the young child decided to be a budding Ringo and began pounding on the carrier box *WhamWhamWham*

Mom: "Don’t sweetie. Kitty Cat won’t like that."

Child: “KITTY!” (another knock on the box)

Kitty Cat should have found the vet’s tranquilizer darts and aimed for Junior.

I tried not to let the kid see our bunny. Before he could wreak more havoc we were called in for the appointment. Baxter was very friendly.
Ears-good. Eyes.good. Teeth- good. Then came the sex surprise. We don’t think we’ll rename her- she’s starting to respond to her name. Baxter does need a small orthepedic procedure on Monday.

We noticed when we got her that one of the toes seemed scabbed over. Probably from a pet store fight with the other bunny or guinea pigs she was around. Well the nail is gone , a little bone is exposed and to prevent infection her foot needs to be patched up a bit. It’s very minor and she’ll be ok.
It hasn’t affected her running and leaping which she does constantly. Her appetite is good and she is perfect with the litter box.

She's all flopped out for the night now. I have some piano music playing- lulling her to sleep. When this slight med procedure is behind her she will be an active member of the household. Look out boys, Lady Baxter is in the house.

The Twitch Switch...

Baxter went to the vet this morning for an official check-up. She's fine.Yes..I said she.


Monday, October 04, 2004

And Now the News...

Here's a brief video that will provide you with some laughs.

Monday Bunday

Baxter exploring the new digs...

Greyton and Twizzle :"Just hand over the carrots or we chew on your shoes."

Good Morning from Her Majesty Princess Jewel...