Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Top 12 Secrets of the Alpine Iceman...

Yahoo News had this Headline today Alpine Iceman Reveals Stone Age Secrets.

Perhaps you've heard of this 5,300 year old body preserved by the ice of the Alps and discovered in 1991. And as Groucho Marx once said,"The Lord Alps those that Alps themselves."

Modern DNA techniques have revealed some secrets about his diet, health,etc. but here at the Blog of Pratt are the other Top 12 Secrets of the Alpine Iceman.


12. Was secretly scouting out locations for next Christo art debacle when frozen.

11. By Crom! Conan the Barbarian owed him ten bucks!

10. Beneath ancient clothing scientists found Wonder Woman Underoos.

9. Battle axe still had security tag attached to it.

8. Paris Hilton's phone number found amongst frozen possessions.

7. Diet consisted not only of goat and wild mushrooms but Pringles and Slim Jims.

6. Had six pack of Grog and Mead on him.

5. Tattoo on forearm was Woody Woodpecker smoking a cigar.

4. Was quite unhappy with "Queer Eye" makeover.

3. He SO invented the wheel and fire and don't listen to those other cro magnons.

2. Thinks King Tut is a total loser.

1. Probably writing a blog in his spare time.

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