Monday, March 21, 2005

Deep in the Heart of Taxes...

It's that time of year again.Mrs. Pratt and I paid a visit to the accountant to do our taxes.We've been going to the same guy now for about 5 years and for some reason I find the process uncomfortable. As I've always said The last three letters of THEIRS is IRS.

I'm actually nervous in the waiting room when we get there. I always play out the worse case scenarios in my head

Accountant: "You owe.....$5 Billion.Oh wait I made an error. 10 Billion."

Now I have to give credit to Mrs. Pratt , this girl has a good financial head on her shoulders. I mean she is one those people that can understand the Tax Code. She reads Business magazines and enjoys it. She knows the definition of all those money terms thrown around on CNBC. If I watch it it's to check out Maria Bartelomo(like the late great Joey Ramone would).

Me? Well I try to grasp the concepts but um....if it was left up to me I'd be paying with magic beans.

No, I'm not so obtuse that I'm GreenSpan Gump.But every year Mrs. Pratt and the accountant have witty banter about which tax forms to use. Mainly because in a former job, Mrs. P. had to know all this stuff.

Tonight we did the yearly Dance of the W2 forms. The numbers were crunched. Deductions made. It wasn't too bad this year. I was pretty quiet throuh the whole ordeal. We are making small talk and suddenly the conversation is between Mrs. Pratt and the accountant.Something about the paperwork brought in by people.

Mrs. Pratt:"Ha ha ha. You mean people bring you a 5498 and a 1099 Misc- when the 1099-B is what they need?" Oh what witty bonmots.

"And somebody brought in a 1572!HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I try to jump in...
Me:"And what about the 38 Double D's?"

*crickets*crickets*crickets* Look of Death.

Hey Noel Coward it ain't.

So they rattle off all these tax forms and what to do where and I'm Chimpo the Monkey Boy sitting there. At work I get a lot of books and materials on Tax Law. Believe me if you ever have insomnia I urge you all to open open the United States Tax Code and start reading.It's duller than...well...this blog.

But it was good news for the final tax scenario for us. No, we do NOT use the bunnies as dependents. A refund this year.Spending money for when we go to Key West.I can save my magic beans for another rainy day.

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