Friday, March 04, 2005

Top 12 Things Martha Stewart Did Before Leaving Prison...

My how time flies! After serving her sentence of five months for lying about a stock sale the decorating doyenne is now under house arrest for the next five months. Of course the Blog of Pratt has discovered the Top 12 things Martha Stewart Did Before Leaving Prison.

12. Delouse Doilles.

11. Leave Escape Tunnel Sunroom Blueprints with gals from cellblock D.

10. Give scrimshaw shiv to cellmate.

9. Put handmade soaps in communal shower.

8. Study KMart marketing plan on "Grey Prison Tray Martha collection" dishware.

7. Expose evil warden kickback plan and wait for Morgan Freeman in Mexico.

6. Make final door wreaths for Solitary confinement wing.

5. Updated address book to include Big Rosie, Conchita and Ma.

4. Give recipe for jailhouse distilled brew made on radiator to fellow prisoners.

3. Tidy up exercise yard.

2. Discuss which kind of cake is best to hide files in.

1. Finalize plans to make even more money off this experience than she had before.

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