Tuesday, April 26, 2005

It Doesn't Make Cents...

Do you still go to bank? I mean physically enter the bank building and wait in a line for a human teller? Are you the type of person to just do drive-thru- with the clunky container and the pneumatic tubes and the sqwalky intercom system? I personally haven't been inside a bank in over a decade. I'm a big fan of direct deposit and the ATM.

Mrs. Pratt hasn't set up direct deposit for her current job. The easiest thing for her to do is deposit it at our local grocery store where the bank has a branch set up.Her adventures at the ATM each week lately would seem that she should just give all her money to anger management classes.

(Door Slams)
Mrs. Pratt:RAHR!*
*ed. note- She doesn't actually say "Rahr!"- usually it's a string of curse words to make Teamsters blush, but I was watching "Jurassic Park 3" the other night so RAHR sums up her attitude*

Me:"What happened this time?"

Mrs. Pratt proceeds to tell me that yet again she had terrible luck at the grocery store ATM. The first week she went there an 85 year old lady was attempting to use the machine. Befuddled by the language buttons I think the elderly woman pressed a series of wrong commands and now her bank statements are all in Portugeuse. Mrs. Pratt, tired of waiting did a complete week of grocery shopping up and down 12 aisles and Fiduciary Granny was STILL working buttons when she returns to the ATM.

The next week the door slams again. "Old lady?" I ask. "No worse, she replied,"5 year old child."
Yes it was one of those times where a suburban Mom decides to teach her moppet a good lesson in what money and the cash machine is all about! She lets little daughter press the buttons for mommy! whoopsie!Little lass pressed the wrong button! We have to start over. Press cancel for mommy! No not the withdrawal! No Not $3,000,000! Ha ha ha...so cute! Do Over! (Repeat this scene ten times.)

The mother is oblivious of the long queue that is snaking around the store that her and Alanis Greenspan are causing.
I know my wife is looking for the day old bread at this point. A good hard loaf of french bread to bludgeon widdle itty bitty kid's skull open.

Tonight. *door slam* "Kids again? Old Lady? Vampires?"I ask. I get the Look of Death.
She sighs heavily. A young couple was ahead of her. She was in luck! Two people of this digital age who surely are well versed in using the ATM.Their card is in but they aren't pushing buttons.Uh-oh.They were having an argument.Making life altering decisions while using the ATM. She noticed their appearance. Guy had a mullet.Girl had a washed out 80's perm. Mrs. Pratt couldn't tell if this was the guy's sister/girlfriend/wife/cousin or all of the above.But she seemd a little "slow".

Apparently Debra Jo wants money to buy something like oh say... food. But Duane wants to put a down payment on a bitchin' new car.And Mrs. Pratt thought the girl was the slow one. Then they discussed where rent money would come from.
Mrs. Pratt stomped off before they got into discussing what "vittles" to have or where to trade in the truck for a General Lee.

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