Monday, April 11, 2005

Lucky Me...

Back from our 2 day trip to Atlantic City.It was a fun experience. This morning we had a quick breakfast and played some slots before heading home. The Gods of Blog assisted me last night though. Lucky lucky me.But let we start at the beginning.

We left our house at 2pm and there was hardly any traffic so we pulled into our hotel by 4pm.The Duran Duran show at the Borgata started at 8pm so we had plenty of time to check in to our casino hotel(Showboat),grab dinner and get ready for the show.

Since Mrs. Pratt and I go to the casino occasionally she gets comps for free hotel rooms. We decided to use it Sunday. It was in one of the new sections of the building and we had a very nice room.

Another comp was a free dinner at their buffet.The line to get in took about a half hour and I saw quite a few senior citizens whose knees were ready to buckle while standing there for so long. Once we got in, another surprise, the food was pretty good.

We had a drink or two and Mrs. Pratt got ready for the concert. She looked beautiful.We drove over to the Borgata which is on the marina side of town.
Now the fun begins...

Our tickets for Duran Duran were General admission. We , along with several other hundred people were crowded in right up to the stage. Mrs. Pratt definiely wanted to be on the side where bass player John Taylor stands. So we bravely joined the big crowd and waited for the show to begin. The crowd was pretty static not really moving once people got themselves into position as to where they were standing.

Suddenly 5 people kind of elbowed their ways just to the left and front of us.

The 5 consisted of 2 women- age late 30's to early 40's.Waaaaaaaaaay too much make-up.Wardrobe courtesy of Skanks-R-Us. Drinks in both hands.

They nudged themselves in with 3 lumbering D.F.A.'s. What's a D.F.A.? Drunken Fraternity Asshole. These three guys were all over 6' 2" in height. Immediately an uproar from about 2 dozen people told these people they were really blocking the view. And they were. You couldn't see the stage through the sequoias.

Unfotunately, they weren't very nice about the situation because of them being so drunk. The ringleader had too much hair gel,cologne,had a beer spilling it all over himself,was gloaming himself onto the elderly blonde woman. Truly he was King of the Asshats.

His Majesty wanted to get to the front of the stage because it was his "bud's" 30th birthday.They had to "party up front". Bud wore a thick black turtleneck sweater and seemed reluctant to go along with King Asshat's scheme. The other D.F.A. was a chunky guy with a crew cut.Chunk-style and King Asshat slurred back and forth- "Ok ready, let's go to the front." I'm ready you ready? Yeah I'm ready...." this went on for several minutes with girls screaming at them.."GO! Move! Leave!"

One the elder-skanks turned to the girls egging them on,"We aren't moving.We don't care who's in front of us even the Pope!" does a blog good.

The dialogue between the D.F.A.'s continued..King Asshat then said some of the stupidest comments I have ever heard a human being make.This includes any Bush speech. Fasten your seat belts ladies and gentlemen I present to you King Asshat:

"Hey! I've seen Slayer 8 times!I know how to rock."

"I partied with Tommy Lee at ASU."

"I like that 'Guys on Film' song these dudes do."

And his big pick up line for the blonde? Ready?:

"I got more game than Milton Bradley."

Mrs. Pratt heard the blonde tell someone- "My friend and I only met these guys 5 minutes ago at the bar.I can't believe they are 28. Laugh*Snort*"

So this crew staggered about and then the show started. Once again a great show by Duran Duran. The performed "A View to a Kill" and "The Reflex" in place of "Come Undone" and "Is There Something I Should Know" this round.Mrs. Pratt loved every minute of it.

During the first few song King Asshat and elderblonde were grinding against each other so much that I think I actually witnessed a few STD's being hatched on the spot. Chunk-style was trying the same hand to crotch combat with Brunette girl but she kept batting him off. After awhile she had had enough of "busy hands" and took her friend and left.

King Asshat meanwhile was singing off key into his cellphone "hunnnnnnnnnngry likes the wolf". He couldn't even get the lyrics right.

The D.F.A.'s milled about a bit a little puzzled that the girls left them and their sparkling personalities. While the 2 were in grope fest the 3rd whose birthday it was had to put up with constant insults by the people they stood directly in front of.

Then Chunk -style and King Asshat started giving pats to each other. On the butt.

I guess with their beer goggles they realized they were meant for each other.The concert ended and they were last seen headed for an exit which many of us prayed was an empty elevator shaft.

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