Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Paper Chase...

I'm currently finding myself in a battle of wits with an 85 year old lady...and losing.

Readers of the Blog of Pratt will recall an elderly neighbor who scams her trash service from us. Well the gravy train has been continuing for her lately with the brazen theft of one of my morning newspapers.

I love to read the morning newspaper. I take the Philadelphia Inquirer and a local paper the Times Herald.But that's the thing..I want to read them in the MORNING.

The old lady gets the Inquirer every morning as well ...and has been helping herself to my Times Herald.

It's not any confusion on her part. I've spotted her from the upstairs window snagging it. Then it sometimes mysteriously shows up on my doorstep in the evening.Sometimes it doesn't appear even though I'm sure it was in the driveway in the morning.

Every morning now I'm standing next to Mrs. Pratt's side of the bed looking out the window taking stock of where the paper is.

Me:"Ok..You're a witness . It's out there today."

Mrs. Pratt: "What are you doing now?"

Me:"The Old Lady. First it was the trash. Now she's swiping our newspapers!"

Mrs. Pratt: " Maybe she doesn't realize it's hers."

Me: "Oh she knows exactly what she's doing. She throws it over on our porch when she's done with it."

Mrs. Pratt: "Ok well you get up at the crack of dawn and go get it then."

I really don't want to have a confrontation with her. She's a sweet old lady despite her scamming skills. But dammit- I'm paying for the subscription and half the time now I don't get the paper back.

So now I have my cellphone set to wake me up extra earlier than normal so I can scamper out half asleep in order to thwart "Light Fingers Louise".

If any of my neighbors see a nut waving a newspaper and doing a victory dance in pajamas...that would be me.

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