Monday, June 13, 2005

Top 12 Reasons Michael Jackson Got Acquitted...

Jackson Jury: The stupidest humans on Earth.

A jury of his "peers" has spoken. Michael Jackson was declared innocent of all charges brought against him. Fortunately the Blog of Pratt has the inside dish on how Jackson secured his 10 not guiltys.

12. Ghost of Elephant Man ordered to haunt jury room by Jacko.

11. Jurors distracted throughout trial by fey elfin nose.

10. Evidence on Jackson computer amounted to teen lip syncing Romanian pop song.

9. Publishing deadlines for several tell-all behind the scenes books approaching.

8. ANYTHING to get the media talking about something OTHER than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

7. Jurors baffled by rules, thought they were choosing winner of next episode of "Hit Me Baby One More Time."

6. Telekinesis powers of Jackson pal Uri Geller too much for the weak minded jurors.

5. Jury had to hurry up and train for upcoming Special Olympics.

4. Too much "Jesus Juice" in the jury's coffee cups.

3. Crime scene investigation revealed to have been handled by Reno911 officers.

2. Invitations already sent out for Jackson's Celebratory Sleep-over.

1. Jackson promises next molestation trial will have better celebrity testimony.

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