Saturday, December 31, 2005

I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Last Call for Alcohol...

As the New Year's Eve celebrations are about to begin, let's talk about alcohol. Now in the last post where I mentioned with nostalgic flair the heady goodness of Boone's Farm wine and sundry beer, I figured that for those of you who drink you must have one story or incident where you uttered the words everyone who has ever been drunk has said:

"I'll Never drink again."

Usually that oath is said while hovering over a toilet bowl,or an open car moon roof if you are Spaulding Smails. Then it is followed by a hangover that feels like King Kong is tap dancing on your skull. Either the Peter Jackson one or the original 1933 version.

First, I am urging you all to drink responsibly if you do imbibe tomorrow night. Now then, if you would like, in the comments tell me tales from your tipsy past:

What was the occasion for the drinking?
My 21st birthday was a good occasion for me. I was planning on just drinking beer, but if a stripper requests you do tequila shots off her breasts...well a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But that's a story for another time.

What did you drink?
Again, Tequila leads to all kinds of trouble. I remember one comedian who described it as "the drink that should come with bail money." Second place for me is raspberry kamikazes at Journalcons. They can be just as harsh.They seem like an innocent little drink but then before you know it any speech you may try to make will sound like you have marbles in your mouth.

Any odd behavior?
Not that I could recall. At bars I used to focus on drawing cartoons on bar napkins for girls. My scribblings combined with shooting fish in a barrel.

Wake up anywhere strange? I knew a group of people who put one buddy on a fishing boat in Long Island after he passed out. The guy woke up and found himself on the Atlantic. No it wasn't me. A prank was pulled on me where when I woke up from a party I was in the dorm room of a young lady. This girl, who was in on the joke, woke me up and said " were wonderful." I stuttered and stammered like Lou Costello.Then my friend burst in the room to mock me.The girl was his next door neighbor and they both enjoyed seeing me flustered. Good times.

And finally how long for the hangover to subside?A journalcon is three days long. It takes 4 days to recover.

Finally I leave you with a toast...because what is alcohol without a toast.

"Here's to those who wish us well,
And those that don't may go to hell."

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

All Night Skate! A Tale from the 1980's...

I was looking around my old record collection tonight. Yes, records kiddies... vinyl- what the dinosaurs used to do for music before IPODs, and came across a bunch of old 80's discs. New Year's Eve was on my mind. and upon thumbing through some of the 45's (Abracadabra by the Steve Miller band, We Got the Beat-The Go-Go's, Let it Whip- the Dazz Band, Don't You Want me- Human League,Centerfold- J Geils Band )I got a flashback.

You know the car commercial where you put your hand on the car and envision driving it? Well I got the same thing except in reverse. New Year's Eve 1982.Rockin'? Oh yes my friends. New Year's 1982- the night of the All Night Skate.

Currently a vacant lot in my hometown, there once stood the mighty Hamburg Roller Rink. And I was a DJ there. Roller skating was pretty much the only game in town in the wintry Buffalo suburbs. Before the internet , before most video games(ok Pong..maybe Atari),The roller rink was packed with 800- 1000 kids every Friday and Saturday night.

For New Year's it was planned that a big balloon drop would be done from the center of the floor. Also the rink would stay open all night long. What? teenagers out all night? That's crazy talk you say! But it was allowed to happen and the place was packed that night.

Although what was a 1000 kids at 7pm, It sure dwindled when the other entertainment for the evening appeared. Yes, I was dj-ing for awhile with some others but we had to stop playing the couple skates of "Open Arms" by Journey and "Keep on Loving You" by Reo Speedwagon , The Sugarhill Gang "boogie skate" mix and Tommy Tutone 's ode to Jenny for a live band.

I don't know if favors were owed, money exchanged hands, or someone lost a bet but there was a band booked to play in a makeshift stage set up at the far end of the roller rink. Early that afternoon I had caught their sound check. Nobody playing, just a roadie going Check-Checkone-Ch-Ch-Ch in the feedback driven mic. a band member's girlfriend was painting the band name on a sheet.And it looked soooooo badass.

The band went on. They called themselves Parousia- which I discovered meant the second coming of Christ.It was Christian Rock. Rough segue from "Give it To me Baby" by Rick James to "We are Paroooooooousia." TWAAAAAAAAANG.

If indeed it was the second coming, then J.C. would have listened for 5 minutes and kicked the drum kit in. They kept singing about being apostles but I never knew the apostles wore bad faux leather jackets and wore their hair like Paul Stanley of Kiss. Ok...maybe Judas. They tried hard but it was clear by audience reaction that another Christian tradition may be making a comeback- public stoning.

Parousia did a really good job of clearing the floor. I think there was a "soup kitchen during the Great Depression-like line at the pay phones(remember. this was before cell phones)with kids PLEADING to their parents to come pick them up.Talk about saving souls!

I wish I could recall Parousia's set list - I seem to recall that they did a knock off of Joan Jett's "I love Rock-n-Roll" and made it "I love Jesus Christ." In the words of Dr. Zachary Smith, "Oh the pain. The pain."

Another thing that happened that night was outside the rink some people were hanging around in the parking lot. And some went behind the adjacent Ames department store to drink.(In 1982 the teen age drink of choice was Genessee Creme Ale, something called "Red,White and Blue beer", and Boone's Farm.

Cops rolled up on two guys back there. It was John and Grant, who both happened to work at the rink. When asked their names they told the police officer, but he didn't believe the two. In fact he got really really angry.

I guess because Grant's last name was McMahon and his real first name was Edward. John's last name was Carson. They were almost thrown in the patrol car and taken down to the station because they said they were Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon.

Aside from that Parousia played their set and helped with the countdown. Woooooo 1983! I don't think they knew auld lang syne so a band member made guitar sounds on mic to the song. When one of the dj's said "Let's hear it for Parousia." cricket cricket cricket cricket.Ah another page of rock -n-roll history.

The Balloon drop worked but clumsy roller skaters would trip over them. Some kids flopped in sleeping bags in the practice skate areas, and they would wake up occasionally to skate around the rink. I seem to recall a night of smuggled-in beer in the dj booth, listening to that kick ass Asia album on big headphones. Awesome rad. I love the 80's. Happy Frickin' New Year. Drink up Shriner!

"This will be a couple skate... couples only on the floor please..." (Cue Leather and Lace -Stevie Nicks /Tom Petty and "Hard to Say i'm Sorry" by Chicago)

Monday, December 26, 2005

Monday Bunday

Twizzle and Greyton

Season's Greetings from Baxter.


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Hare-y Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all from Baxter.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Blog of Pratt Christmas Quiz...

It's Christmas Eve and the the yuletide is upon us. So take the Blog of Pratt Christmas Quiz and make merry you're own way for the twenty-fifth of December.

1. Santa Claus has helpers make toys. They are known as ___.

A. Gnomes
B. Hobbits
C. Elves
D. Wal-Mart

2.What are the ingredients for a fruitcake?___.

A. Flour, sugar, butter,nutmeg,bourbon, green raisins.
B. Well, let's just say hot dogs are made of healthier material.
C. I could tell you the answer but I'm sworn to secrecy.
D. Jump on Oprah's couch, rebuke Matt Lauer, buy a sonogram machine.

3. Who is a recurring haunting presence every Christmas Eve?___.

A. Clarence the Angel
B. Jacob Marley
C. Ghost of Christmas Past
D. Mistletoe Rash

4. What Holiday tradition do you look forward to___.

A. Shopping and exchanging presents.
B. Baking cookies and holiday meals.
C. Singing Carols and attending church.
D. Sneaking Star Wars action figures in the Nativity scene (Courtesy of Clive Young!)

5. Why was there no room at the Inn?___.

A. Sheperd convention.
B. Undergoing renovations for upcoming Hilton merger.
C. Really really hard to make reservations in 4 B.C.
D. Sure they give you towels and robes, but swaddling clothes? Forget it.

6. Which one is the name of one of Santa's reindeer?___.

A. Petrouchka
B. Blitzen
C. Regis
D. T.O.

7. You awake in the middle of the night and see Santa standing before you . What do you say to him?___.

A. "Merry Christmas!"
B. "Have I been naughty or nice?"
C. "Have some cookies!"
D. "Close your robe!"

8. Christmas Carolers show up at your door. What do you do?___.

A. Don't open the door until "Good King Wenceslas" is sung.
B. Share some hot cocoa and cookies with them in appreciation.
C. Shout out "Freebird!" as a request.
D. Turn the hose on them.

9. Which store do you hope to get a Gift Card from?___.

A. Macy's
B. Target
C. Hot Topic
D. Toys in Babeland

10. What's your New Year's Resolution?___.

A. Lose weight, quit smoking and /or drinking.
B. Be kinder to others.
C. Find a new job.
D. Read the Blog of Pratt daily.

Wishing all my friends a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, and Festivus for the rest of us.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Run, Run Rudolph

True story. A friend was at the post office yesterday mailing packages. He needed some other stamps besides the regular 37 cent ones.

Postal worker:"Do you want Washington or Rudolph?"

My friend, thinking about the spirit of the holidays said, "Oh definitely, Rudolph!"

He was given several Wilma Rudolph commemorative stamps.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Poem returns...

For any new readers...I posted this story and art last year. It's the Pratt Bunny version of Twas the Night Before Christmas.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Top 12 Ways to get Around New York City During The Transit Strike...

New York City is enduring its first transit strike in 25 years. How are plucky New Yorkers getting to and fro?

The Blog of Pratt has the Top 12 ways to Get Around New York City During the Transit Strike.

12. Break out the Segways!

11. Have Giant Ape on Empire State Building give you a hand.

10. Napolean Dynamite will pull you into town on his bike. Sweet!

9. Enter Wardrobe- take Lincoln Tunnel by way of Narnia.

8. Fill up your webshooter and swing across midtown like you always do.

7. What? Even the Polar Express is out? Damn!

6. Stars of "Lost" willing to drive you...on second thought...

5. With a good sail that hot dog cart makes a "yar" craft.

4. If stranded in city- take refuge from cold weather in Scores.

3. Fly over city in old Macy's parade balloon. Watch out for lamppost.

2. Dig canoe out of Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree-float up East River.

1. Don't worry, there's a dude with a reindeer-pulled sleigh coming along in a few days.

Stocking Stuffed...

Santa arrived early for certain members of the household.

Happy Birthday Twizzle...

Today is 2 years since we adopted Twizzle from the House Rabbit Society. He has become Greyton's best friend. He has really come into his own though with his own personality. A little timid at times but happy and confident around us. He loves petting and an extra carrot. So Happy Birthday Twizzle!

Relaxed rabbit.

The ever-popular Mr. Twizzle.

Birthday Boy

Monday, December 19, 2005

Monday Bunday

Baxter gets her excuses ready for St. Nick.

Twizzle and Greyton extra snuggly.

Greyton says "It's good to be the King."

"And that big hole in the bedroom carpet? Um...somebunny else..."

Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Visit from St. Nicholas...

Every year before Christmas, the local volunteer fire department rides down the streets of the neighborhood with Santa waving to everyone from the top of the fire truck. They have Christmas music and sirens blaring and the other fire personnel handing out candy canes. A nice tradition.
Yo Kringle!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Ho Ho Hare...

Greyton gets festive.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Monday Bunday

Twizzle and Greyton-all snuggly today.

Now that Princess Jewel has passed on, Baxter has entry into more expanded territory. Here she is warily looking into the new world.

Baxter checks out the paint job.

Twizzle and Greyton-cheek to cheek.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Bright Lights Big City Hall...

Philadelphia's City Hall is using a unique system to light up it's facade for the holiday season.

Mrs. Pratt went into the city to meet up with a fellow blogger and flickr friend on Saturday and she got these photos. I stayed home due to the cold.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Top 12 Paris Hilton Holiday Decorations...

A man in Cranston, Rhode Island has decided to decorate his home for Christmas with giant photos of Paris Hilton and Tinkerbell. Neighbors are dismayed to put it mildly.

The Blog of Pratt has uncovered the Top 12 things to see in the Paris Hilton holiday decoration display...

12. Red Carpet on Nativity scene.

11. Carrot nose on snowman vibrates.

10. Tinkerbell with antlers.

9. Deep throated candy canes.

8. Video montage on Paris unwrapping gifts,decorating a tree, and doing reverse cowgirl.

7. Music playing throughout display includes "Carol of the Skank".

6. Boyfriend of the week Stavros crashing Santa's sleigh with a coat over his head.

5. Paris and the First Noel-someone she picked up in a club.

4. Three Wise Man are running from paparazzi.

3. Paris attempts internship at Santa's Workshop.

2. Mistletoe thong.

1. Gold, Frankincense,Chlamydia.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Monday Bunday

Greyton says hello.

Twizzle flopped out under the rocking chair.


In loving memory of Princess Jewel.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Watt the Hell?...

Welcome to one of the most god-awfully decorated houses in my town. Or as a friend once said, "The House Christmas Threw Up On."

Forget Jack Frost. Jack Daniels must be nipping at your nose if you think this isn't over the top.

It's the tack- tack -tackiest time of the year!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Happy Holidays Meme...

Year of the first Christmas you can remember- 1969

An early Christmas memory? I was at my grandmother's house and Santa Claus came to visit.

Ever in a holiday play? When? Yes.6th grade.

Did you play a role? What was it? Shepherd #3. I rocked.

Favorite holiday ornament (Past and present)Past: My parents had a glass Snoopy and Charlie Brown. Present: Hand painted portrait of old Jay Bunny.

Decoration you dread seeing every year: Pointsettias.HATE THEM.

Classic Christmas song you never get tired of: Silent Night

Classic Christmas song you loathe: Do You Hear What I Hear

Modern Christmas song you never get tired of:"Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses

Modern Christmas song you loathe: "The Christmas Shoes"

Naughty or Nice? I prefer Naughty.

If you have a Christmas tree, real or artificial? Artificial.Rabbits would gnaw on a real one.

Any holiday traditions unique to your family you'd like to share? On midnight on Christmas Eve I always check to see if the animals in the house talk.

If you were an elf what would your elf name be?-Elfvis.

Favorite Christmas Movie:"It's a Wonderful Life"

Best Scrooge Ever: Alistar Sim (1951)

Favorite Christmas Special: "Rudolph the Red-nose Reindeer" (1964)

Favorite Misfit Toy: Charlie in the Box

Have you ever re-gifted? Yes

Do you still rush out and shop on the 24th? Sometimes. Usually stocking stuffers.

Can you wrap presents well? It's a disaster when I do it.

What's one thing you know will always be in your Christmas stocking?Candy

Best Christmas present ever? Twizzle (Dec.20th 2003!)

Spill a holiday secret- my mother would buy a fruitcake and nobody liked my sister and I would take turns cutting off pieces and putting it in the garbage disposal. However, this made her think we loved it every year and so another would be bought. gah.

Started on your Christmas Cards yet? This weekend I am.

Do you bake Christmas cookies? I may try this year.GULP.

You find yourself under the mistletoe with Pratt. What do you do?

Do you leave cookies out for Santa? Yes. And carrots for the reindeer. The carrots are always gone!

Can I refill your egg nog?