Friday, December 30, 2005

Last Call for Alcohol...

As the New Year's Eve celebrations are about to begin, let's talk about alcohol. Now in the last post where I mentioned with nostalgic flair the heady goodness of Boone's Farm wine and sundry beer, I figured that for those of you who drink you must have one story or incident where you uttered the words everyone who has ever been drunk has said:

"I'll Never drink again."

Usually that oath is said while hovering over a toilet bowl,or an open car moon roof if you are Spaulding Smails. Then it is followed by a hangover that feels like King Kong is tap dancing on your skull. Either the Peter Jackson one or the original 1933 version.

First, I am urging you all to drink responsibly if you do imbibe tomorrow night. Now then, if you would like, in the comments tell me tales from your tipsy past:

What was the occasion for the drinking?
My 21st birthday was a good occasion for me. I was planning on just drinking beer, but if a stripper requests you do tequila shots off her breasts...well a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. But that's a story for another time.

What did you drink?
Again, Tequila leads to all kinds of trouble. I remember one comedian who described it as "the drink that should come with bail money." Second place for me is raspberry kamikazes at Journalcons. They can be just as harsh.They seem like an innocent little drink but then before you know it any speech you may try to make will sound like you have marbles in your mouth.

Any odd behavior?
Not that I could recall. At bars I used to focus on drawing cartoons on bar napkins for girls. My scribblings combined with alcohol...like shooting fish in a barrel.

Wake up anywhere strange? I knew a group of people who put one buddy on a fishing boat in Long Island after he passed out. The guy woke up and found himself on the Atlantic. No it wasn't me. A prank was pulled on me where when I woke up from a party I was in the dorm room of a young lady. This girl, who was in on the joke, woke me up and said "Hi..you were wonderful." I stuttered and stammered like Lou Costello.Then my friend burst in the room to mock me.The girl was his next door neighbor and they both enjoyed seeing me flustered. Good times.

And finally how long for the hangover to subside?A journalcon is three days long. It takes 4 days to recover.

Finally I leave you with a toast...because what is alcohol without a toast.

"Here's to those who wish us well,
And those that don't may go to hell."

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